Supposed to marry you.
I wish we were taking out this mortgage for a place of our own. I wish we still spoke. I wish we still spoke of our plans to move in together. I wish you still loved me. I wish I could still feel your love. I can’t feel it anymore and I’ve never been so cold.
Your words are sticky, dripping with gooey sugar crystals. They coat my throat, block my airways and choke my wind pipes.
I never get to eat sugar, it’s bad for my teeth you say. But sometimes you force it to me and it’s artificially saccharine. Like Splenda. I know it’s not good for me but I still like the taste. Only it’s slightly bitter.
I cried myself to sleep last night beside him because I’m moving on…
The end of a chapter that tore my heart in half and left me out to bleed.
I cried myself to sleep
again last night.
sea of salty tears.
What was it about me that you didn’t think you could ever love as much as I loved you?
Swimming… away. Into the dark and endless sea. I want to.