My ex

used to tell me I was fat

every day.

Sorry

for being so

insecure.

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The hurt

It’s not how he could hurt you in the first place, it’s how many times you let him.

Too

He said, “see this is why we can’t be together. You’re too emotional.”

“I don’t think I’m too anything.”

You are never too anything. You are more than enough and more perfect than you’ll ever know. It’s him who isn’t quite enough. Trust me.

Because

“Why did you call me?”

“Because I felt like talking to you. Hey can you do me a favor?”

Oh that’s why you called.

Gut

“It’s just a gut feeling.”

“How long have you been having this gut feeling?”

“Since we met.”

The shower is the only place I can cry without anyone hearing.

A million of my tears just washed down the drain.

“Gut feeling.”

55 

I wish we were taking out this mortgage for a place of our own. I wish we still spoke. I wish we still spoke of our plans to move in together. I wish you still loved me. I wish I could still feel your love. I can’t feel it anymore and I’ve never been so cold.

The move

I cried myself to sleep last night beside him because I’m moving on… 

without you. 

The end of a chapter that tore my heart in half and left me out to bleed.